Ogreworld

ButterflyWarrior 4 Keychain from Zazzle.com

2011-08-06T12:20:00.000-07:00

ButterflyWarrior 4 Keychain from Zazzle.com

Top 10 Keychain Views August 1st, 2011 =)

This Graph Means Nothing! Poster from Zazzle.com

2011-07-04T23:10:00.000-07:00

This Graph Means Nothing! Poster from Zazzle.com

I Want You: To Fall Down Stairs Poster from Zazzle.com

2011-06-26T18:26:00.000-07:00

I Want You: To Fall Down Stairs Poster from Zazzle.com

See all 16 images!

Classic with new twist! I Want You posters are guaranteed a laugh, just page through them and see what this crazy old man wants. Each has him in his trademark pointing pose and saying, "I Want You" and then something absolutely ridiculous.

BlackOgre Productions - Zazzle Quicklist

2011-06-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

BlackOgre Productions - Zazzle Quicklist

SUCK IT! MOUSE PAD from Zazzle.com

2011-06-03T14:51:00.000-07:00

SUCK IT! MOUSE PAD from Zazzle.com

Snow Hunter 1 Mouse Pad from Zazzle.com

2011-04-24T14:38:00.000-07:00

Snow Hunter 1 Mouse Pad from Zazzle.com

snow, leopard, arctic, cold, lion, cat, lol, catz, hunter, photoshop, digital, artwork, abstract, surrealism, surreal, strange, weird, crazy, awesome, offensive, black ogre com, blackogre, online, superstore, djskagnetti, dj skagnetti, dj, skagnetti, robin, hood, alice, wonderland, obama

City Burning Round Stickers from Zazzle.com

2011-04-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

City Burning Round Stickers from Zazzle.com

Top 90 Most Popular Items In BlackOgre Online SuperStore

2011-04-21T14:26:00.000-07:00

January-April 2011The Top 90 Most Popular Items!!!

Top 10

10 Rorschach Inkblots

9 SYSTEM

8 Rorschach Inkblots

7 I AM A ROOSTER ILLUSION

6 Spandex - Not Just For Skinny Girls

5 ILLUSIONARY

4 Snow Hunter

3 ILLUSIONARY

2 There's POISON in the TAP WATER!

1 OMNOMNOMNOM Rainbow

Infinite =( Poster from Zazzle.com

2011-03-14T21:19:00.000-07:00

Infinite =( Poster from Zazzle.com

AngryBot LoveBot Poster from Zazzle.com

2011-03-09T22:48:00.000-08:00

AngryBot LoveBot Poster from Zazzle.com

robot, robots, clamp, clampy, dark, creepy, crazy, surreal, insane, heart, hearts, pink, gray, red, hands, hand, sad, angry, love, kill, destroy, need, needy, needful, loving, loved, pattern, small, mad, happy, want, wanting, tiny, funny, cute, adorable, sweet, valentine, blackogre, online, superstore, djskagnetti, charlie, sheen, avatar, obama, mechanical, machine, machines

Won a Zazzle Artist Award!

2011-02-17T18:28:00.000-08:00

Congratulations, djskagnetti!

Your product, Illusionary19 Poster, has been hand-picked as an example of creativity at its finest. Out of the billions of designs on Zazzle, yours was chosen as one of the best.

As a reward, your product will appear at the top of the page listed below in the "Featured Designs" section for approximately 2 weeks. This means you, your product, and your store will be center stage!

See it featured on Optical Illusions Posters

System 1 Alternative Poster from Zazzle.com

2010-12-22T19:22:00.000-08:00

System 1 Alternative Poster from Zazzle.com

Rorschach Inkblot 3 Shirts from Zazzle.com

2010-12-22T19:21:00.000-08:00

Rorschach Inkblot 3 Shirts from Zazzle.com

Its A Celebration Bitches! Tshirts from Zazzle.com

2010-12-22T19:20:00.000-08:00

Its A Celebration Bitches! Tshirts from Zazzle.com

Illusionary1 Poster from Zazzle.com

2010-12-22T19:19:00.001-08:00

Illusionary1 Poster from Zazzle.com

Illusionary4 Poster from Zazzle.com

2010-12-22T19:19:00.000-08:00

Illusionary4 Poster from Zazzle.com

OMNOMNOMNOM 4 Rainbow 2 Mesh Hats from Zazzle.com

2010-12-22T19:16:00.000-08:00

OMNOMNOMNOM 4 Rainbow 2 Mesh Hats from Zazzle.com

I Am A Rooster Illusion Greeting Card from Zazzle.com

2010-12-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

I Am A Rooster Illusion Greeting Card from Zazzle.com

Pinupz Calendar 1 from Zazzle.com

2010-12-22T19:13:00.000-08:00

Pinupz Calendar 1 from Zazzle.com

Ladies Ladies Ladies! Tie from Zazzle.com

2010-12-22T18:52:00.000-08:00

Ladies Ladies Ladies! Tie from Zazzle.com

Adventure5 T-shirts from Zazzle.com

2010-12-21T13:06:00.000-08:00

Adventure5 T-shirts from Zazzle.com

Collage12 Poster from Zazzle.com

2010-12-10T20:21:00.000-08:00

Collage12 Poster from Zazzle.com

I Like Things That Are Shiny Poster from Zazzle.com

2010-12-10T20:20:00.000-08:00

I Like Things That Are Shiny Poster from Zazzle.com

PinUpz Girl 1 Coaster from Zazzle.com

2010-12-10T20:19:00.001-08:00

PinUpz Girl 1 Coaster from Zazzle.com

NiceRack Blue Shirt from Zazzle.com

2010-12-10T20:19:00.000-08:00

NiceRack Blue Shirt from Zazzle.com

Pinupz Calendar 1 from Zazzle.com

2010-12-06T02:24:00.000-08:00

Pinupz Calendar 1 from Zazzle.com

PayBox

2010-10-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

PayBox

I Scared The Fatty

2010-05-14T02:36:00.000-07:00

testing out hootsuite

2010-04-10T01:53:00.000-07:00

feeds your blog into twitter. pretty cool. i'm looking for a program that is not tweet adder that allows you to set up like 10 messages that auto posts throughout the day, and you can choose the intervals it posts them. so i can make it autopost 1 tweet for my blog every 5 hours and 9 different zazzle product tweets every half hour or hour. something like that. any ideas?

great quotes

2010-03-30T16:12:00.000-07:00

“A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have
sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who
might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government”-George
Washington

“Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety
deserve neither Liberty nor Safety”-Benjamin Franklin

“When firearms go, all goes. We need them every hour.”-George Washington

“Americans have the right and advantage of being armed – unlike the citizens of
other countries whose governments are afraid to trust the people with
arms.”-James Madison

“When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government
fears the people, there is liberty. “-Thomas Jefferson

“The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms
is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in
government.”-Thomas Jefferson

“I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government
from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of
them.”-Thomas Jefferson

“No freeman shall be debarred the use of arms.”-Thomas Jefferson

“This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it.
Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise
their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to
dismember or overthrow it.”-Abraham Lincoln

“A government that does not trust it’s law-abiding citizens to keep and bear
arms is itself unworthy of trust.”-James Madison

“Firearms stand next in importance to the constitution itself. They are the
American people’s liberty teeth and the keystone under independence… The rifle
and pistol are equally indispensable… The very atmosphere of firearms anywhere
and everywhere restrains evil interference – they deserve a place of honor with
all that is good.”-George Washington

gah megavideo is so lame

2010-03-26T17:54:00.001-07:00

i hate the 72 minute cut off

i think when it comes to zazzle choosing their TBAs

2010-03-26T06:20:00.000-07:00

they make the decision based on the following 3 questions -
a) what is the gayest design put out today?
b) what is the most disneyfied design put out today?
c) what is the lamest, cutesy, bullshit design put out today?

everyone in forums falls all over themselves to post a tba in show and tell and then every single zazzle pro seller has to give them props along the lines of "wow amazing just purely amazing the most beautiful image i've ever seen in my entire life. why, with an image like that, you could feed all the starving children, save the economy and cure cancer!!!!"

no, you can't cure cancer with that design, it's a chinsy butterfly-ey puppy dog-ey little baby-ey or cute kid-ey disney design, either that or it's a wedding invitation or stamp with some religious icon on it

fuck that

there are very very few tbas that are the best at anything. /end rant

Silviasaez

2010-03-21T19:02:00.000-07:00

I was really blown away by silviasaez's artwork, especially this one

Beezazzler

2010-03-21T18:39:00.000-07:00

Beezazzler has some awesome things, but I really like these mousepads.

Angels

2010-03-21T10:58:00.000-07:00

I just like these a lot

Vote For Me

2010-03-21T10:32:00.001-07:00

at the zazzle 100

Space

2010-03-21T09:28:00.001-07:00

I really like this guys solar system posters and products. Space always has intrigued me, I love to look at the stars at night and think about different worlds.

The Planet Neptune

Obliquity Of The Nine Planets

Solar System And Beyond

The Planet Uranus

The Sun And Planets Of The Solar System

Solar System Montage

I wonder

2010-03-19T19:26:00.000-07:00

This image showed up in my state of Minnesota on a billboard somewhere outside the Twin Cities. It made the news and was reported all over. I frankly think it's hilarious. No, I don't miss him. But I wonder if it is copyright infringement for these people to take the same image and same slogan and put it up on bumper stickers and stuff? Probably not, the picture is public domain, and words are words, but what about intellectual copyrights? i don't really care, just wondering. Anyways, the image is rampant in zazzle, used by many many many many many many people.

People like
Megatudes

Miss Me Yet?

Political Armor

Miss Me Yet?

"Funny" Custom Shirts

Miss Me Yet?

Then people got creative, and changed the font and put it by his head - ooooo
Angry Mob Wear

Miss Me Yet?

and put it over blue paint streaks with warped red text - ooooooooo
Obama's Last Day

Miss Me Yet?

and even ripping off the billboard idea itself - ooooooooooo
Liberty Shack

Miss Me Yet?

oooo oooo - and zooming in real close on his head
Political_Graphics

Miss Me Yet?

making weird caricatures that overly resemble the Red Meat comics (one of my favorite comics)
Jamie Rushad

Miss Me Yet?

and even a lovechild 70s throwback (whyyyyy)
Veer To The Right

Miss Me Yet?

well, what they lack in originality, i guess they make up for in.... *drawing a blank*

Taste Studios

2010-03-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

They got some great designs, but i especially like this one:

The Love Gun Poster

Cheries_Art

2010-03-19T09:49:00.000-07:00

She has some pretty cool designs.

Fractal Stickers

PURPLE SPRING FLOWERS not a fan of all caps but whatever

White Brocade With Red Hearts Binder pretty fancy vector art

Cool Pirate T

2010-03-19T09:40:00.001-07:00

This guy made a pretty funny shirt. Anything with a spork is most likely hilarious.

How To Become A Pirate

Attempts to be shocking

2010-03-19T09:23:00.001-07:00

Well, he's got some good ones, but something about them... In fact, I think most of this stuff is stolen. But I like a few of them. Good job whoever you are.

We Be Clubbin'

Sloppy Seconds

Etch A Sketch

I'm on facebook way too much

2010-03-19T08:18:00.000-07:00

wtf? i didn't even care about facebook a year ago. i didn't even get serious until like 4 or 5 months ago. but now i am addicted. i catch myself going there all the time, just searching for things to comment on, or posting things of my own.

i recently thought it would be funny for a skit if a person broke down crying because they had no friends on facebook. like they just started balling and kept saying over and over again "I have no friends.." and then "I only have 58 friends. This kitten has 2 million friends. this pickle has more fans than nickelback, and nickelback has 1 million friends, so not only does nickelback have more friends than me, but this pickle does to with 1.4 million friends, that's like 1.4 million more friends than i have"

I really thought that the Can this pickle get more friends than nickelback campaign was funny btw. good job whoever did that. the pics in their gallery all consist of the lead singer holding a pickle and other funny stuff. reminded me of 4chan pictures. I even made this: Quantum Pickle for them =P

Why? I Don't Know

2010-03-18T20:57:00.001-07:00

This freaking guy got mentioned on the news and his shit just blew up. Maybe slowing down now but still i'm seeing 433 views today. This super hero obama stuff must be popular amongst 13-year-olds or something. frankly i think it looks like commercialized bullshit.

Homeland Security

speaking of commercialized bullshit, here's some of my obama stuff =P

Impeach Blue

Impeach Red

Impeach Transparent choose your own background color!

and 5 other colors.

Take his threats of joining the new world order and cap and trade tax (a tax on carbon, which is everything) for what they are - Threats. Doing either of these threatens the sovereignty of our nation, which is high treason according to a little thing called the constitution. Therefore, impeachment is necessary to remove this threat.

I'm not saying republicans are better. Enough with the duopoly bullshit. If somebody says something bad about the government, they must be a republican because a democrat is in office. wtf? there is no right, there is no left. they are all like best friends. sure, they fight up and down the isles in congress. but then they go out for drinks later that evening. the obama administration is just an extension of the bush administration. there will be no Change. this shit is going to keep going on and on and on. guess what - they're gonna do the same thing that they did with Bush to Obama on the next election. By 2012, everything will be so terrible that everyone will be hating on democrats, so a republican will get voted into office who promises all kinds of change. and the cycle will continue. no change. we need a new system.

to black people, or anyone, who plays the race card when somebody says something bad about obama - he's only about 10% black. He's mostly Arabian in heritage. so fuck off with that shit. could it be possible that naysayers dislike him because of his political agenda rather than his pigment?

they are on a huge domestic terrorism kick right now, trying to label free thinkers and 'conspiracy theorists' as terrorists. i guess because Stack flew his plane into the IRS building, now everyone who disapproves of the government is going to get a plane and fly it into a building. watch as they try to take our rights to bare arms and freedom of speech away over the next year. watch closely. watch as they try to regulate the internet - internet ID cards anyone? where you have to enter your ID info every time you log on. how about we just inject you with a RFID chip (a microscopic chip that was actually perfected in Japan last year), so we can keep track of everything you do and everywhere you go and record your personal life to great detail. How does that sound? We just want to keep you safe....

Star Wars

2010-03-18T20:22:00.000-07:00

I guess I could be considered a big star wars fan. George Lucas is pretty brilliant, and deserves all the success he has. I wonder what kind of vices a guy like that has? what kind of addiction to what various thing would a guy who could afford anything he wants any time he wants have? food? fast cars? chocolate? beer? vintage pron? cocaine? mass orgies where everyone is dressed up as star wars characters? but all kidding aside, I also wish he would make more movies.

If you like Star Wars, check out this guy's gallery. Because he's the only guy on zazzle that has permission to make star wars products, and frankly that kinda sickens me (luckyyyyyyyy), but at the same time fills me with delight because this stuff is actually pretty awesome.

Star Wars Rock Band Poster

Visit The Ice Caves Of Hoth

Stormtroopers Watch Your Aim

A New Hope

Death Star: Too Big To Fail

Darth Vadar World's Best Dad

Moody Lizard

2010-03-18T20:08:00.001-07:00

This guy has some great designs. I love that 70s font and am looking to find one like it. Anyone know where to get one?

Your Mom

Keys To Success

Robodog

Vintage Love

Vampire Abilities

I Like To Check You Out

Alice In Wonderland

2010-03-17T16:32:00.000-07:00

Whenever somebody tries to engage me in a conversation about Alice in Wonderland, I say, "Alice in Wonderland - love it or hate it, I want the White Queen to tittyfuck me." This is usually a good way to end conversations about Alice in Wonderland.

My SoundCloud Profile

2010-03-17T16:28:00.000-07:00

SOUNDCLOUD Check out the few songs I have on there. Hear more at My Website.

PinUpz

2010-03-17T16:27:00.000-07:00

PINUPZ

Spandex! T Shirts from Zazzle.com

2009-09-17T16:55:00.001-07:00

SPANDEX

Half Way Mark 2

2009-06-24T19:42:00.000-07:00

what can i say, i just got my ass handed to me over and over again the last 4 or 5 months. it's funny how you get set in a routine, a structured schedule. i have a tendency that when i get a grip on something and it becomes routine, i get angry that shit is changing. i'm going along, life is fine, saving money, getting everything paid, fixing up things that need a fixin, etc, the joys of monotony and the daily grind. then BAM! "FUCK YOU!" life says, "I'm Going A Completely Different Direction Now!"

not to be a debbie downer, but i'm gonna kinda focus on what's been fucked up lately for a minute. i just realized that i do this a lot, thinking back on it, i don't see someone for a while and then when i do see them i got some crazy story about this thing that happened to me lately, and it's so ridiculously over the top, like wtf this happens to people? kind of thing, and depressing, that the whole time it must seem like i'm just complaining. i guess i just thought i was telling a story, but to somebody who's not me it must seem like... i dunno, like i'm siphoning off their soul slowly by telling them this story, rofl, or something. it's never a short story either, one thing leads to another leads to another, and they usually have to get going, but i keep pulling em back in with the situation that happened right After the one i'm currently talking about.

But then i realize that i'm minnesotan. and i hear other people doing this as well. i ask somebody how their day is and it's like "Man i just got laid off from my job and my dog bit my neighbor and may have to be put to sleep and it's so hot i have no air conditioning. hopefully i'll get my fan to work later, it's been acting up lately, it happened because my drunk friend fell on it, after he puked on the blanket my great grandmother has passed down for generations, she died of emphysema. she worked at the first car factory, until the great depression came along and the plant blew up and she couldn't find work anywhere else. man when are we gonna get some rain, the crops sure could use it, man i love that dog, my mother wants me to go back to school. well seeya!"

ok ok it's not that ridiculous but it always seems to be the bad things that are happening to them that day or something else trivially wrong with their lives, like "i woke up and my car overheated and i had to walk two miles to get here." rofl

oh well, i guess we feel like we need to be interesting, and bad stuff is always more interesting than how awesome the article that mentions you in the City Pages is or how long you get to go on vacation in Japan for. bleh you happy people make me sick.

well the year started out great. i met this cool girl, we hung out a lot, and had a lot of fun. it was all downhill from there.

2 hard drives crashed within 2 months, 1 brand new, the other about 2 years old. the 2 year old one gone: bam goodbye 8 years of your life. how's it feel to be raped? what you need 1500-5000 dollars to get me fixed? (nelson laugh) ha-ha. second one must of been the first ones brother: o you think you're in the clear with a external cooling box and a brand new hard drive? R to the O to the motherfucking FL. yah yah put all your stuff on there, that's cool. BAM! o, now i'm dead to, sorry, didn't see that coming did you, man that must just suck.

to be honest most of the 8 years can and has been recovered. but i lost some fucking shit. damn. i had like 500ish pictures. i got most online, but all the photoshop files in case i want to edit them, little shit like that. a ton of stuff i can get back at anytime, liek games and movies etc. i had just finished my album, and actually had just started burning the individual tracks to disk to be mastered, i finished the first one and then my computer restarted itself, gave me a bunch of troubles, and that's when i heard the drive clicking and kinda thumping. i got the final songs done, but all the reason files were on that disk, including all the wavs that comprised the songs, fuck if i know if i can get any of that back again. i lost all my music videos and music video footage. i don't have those anywhere else, unless i can find a downloader for myspace or megavideo, cause on youtube the audio's off sync. and then it would be shitty low rez, whats even the point. i guess those will live as long as myspace lives. man i lost a lot of shit, 4 gigs worth of info, a lot of it games and movies, but a lot of it stuff... like, i really needed man. fuck!

i got super down about it, and many other things that happened: our landlords have taken us to court a few times now, i dunno my roommate like is either lying to me or my landlords are. or i'm getting just half stories. i dunno, but i've had to help pay all these fees over it. then they towed my car, outside the city, which is illegal, to the town of Savage, bumfuck nowhere, 50 minutes in heavy traffic through like the most hardcore road construction i've ever seen, seriously i dunno what they are trying to accomplish over there, but it's working. it looks like a fucking eight lane overpass or some shit, its like a graveyard of concrete ramparts and steel girder skeletons, like by traveling to Savage you get teleported to some crazed lord of the rings castle/battlefield. the thing that was most amusing is i called them 3 times, the third literally asking everything i had to bring with me to get my car out. i asked them what time they would close and they said 5 and i said i will be there before 5.... when i get there those motherfuckers had sent out a certified letter telling me where my car was, charging me another 20 dollars on top of the 260. it cost that much because Nowhere Anywhere was there posted the place they tow it to, not on their website, not in their little handbook, i called their emergency number and the bitch wouldn't find out for me, i called all the big names in towing around here, i called the impound lot, i called the cops, i called 311, i called 911 - yes i literally reported it stolen. they told me to wait til monday to find out from my landlords. i called the landlords, the lady that rented me the place, even the owner of the company at his house phone (i r tricky!), it wasn't on their roofing website, i went to an online yellow pages and went down the fucking list of tow companies in the twin cities. of course savage didn't show up. it was absolutely ridiculous, i spent like 3 hours searching for my car, i used my phone more in 3 hours than i had all year. ffs! well we worked out some sort of deal, most likely because they knew exactly that they shouldn't of done that. and the next time they were gonna clean the back lot and put out a notice, they put the address to where to cars were towed to - and they still had fucking savage minnesota listed there. what stupid motherfuckers.

so my roommate. nice guy, he was pretty cool, i didn't know at first, but once i got used to him i had some fun, we recorded some vocals and stuff, and sat around and watched a lot of UFC. that's something i thought i'd never like, but goddammit that shit is cool. nothing like a good fight. anyways, things were great until this girl started hanging about, she didn't know anybody else so she just hung out here. and then they hooked up. and then she moved in. which you know i'd really like to be nice here and sugarcoat it all, and i thought i could totally cope with it, but i dunno i guess shit just wears on you, wears you down. anyways, they knocked off 200 dollars from my rent, which was cool. but they knocked off 200 dollars from my rent because she brought 3 cats, a shitload of clothes and other garbage, like she had enough shit for an entire house, and a love of attaching fake hair to her head. to this day red and black plastic-y stripper hair balls roll about in a corner or two like dust balls across a desert plain. the shit got everywhere. she was constantly putting that shit in. and you know, to tell you the truth, in all my years i would Never have thought that one of my pet peeves would be somebody who compulsively ocd-like attaches fake hair to their own hair, then takes it out, and puts new hair in. Nope. Never thought that would be an issue. ROFL, let me just say this to all of you who never had the pleasure of living with somebody that meticulously maintains a weave: i think i'd rather cut my own throat than deal with something as ridiculous as this little pastime of hers got. i went over to the girl i was seeing's apartment, and she had a couple cats. and like half way through the movie she's like 'what are you playing with cat?' and it was like 30 strands of black and red hair that was loose on one end but tied up tightly in a ball on the other end, and it was playing with it in the middle of the floor. how the fuck did it get there? my roommates girlfriend never went over there. did it somehow attach itself to me before i left? then why didn't i notice this giant plastic monstrosity her fat cat was now having the time of it's life with stuck to me? like 2 minutes later the damn cat ate the thing, and started choking a bit, but i think he got it down. that must of been delicious, something that would remind a cat of no food it's ever had or even feels instinctively to have. like meat fish, i could understand this, give a cat cat food all it's life, and it would most likely eat a fish if you put the fish down instead of the cat food. because even though it's never had fish, it's instinct most likely tells it 'i bet this shit won't be half bad!' but plastic weave hair? wtf kind of instinct does this cat have? is it retarded?

i think my roommates girlfriend's one cat was retarded. he was like 8 and would lick the back of his legs so much that the hair would be licked clean off! rofl it was funny 2 big bald spot patches on it's back. the other one ran away and hid if you even so much as looked at it, and the last one was a little princess, 5 years old and looked no older or bigger than 6 or 8 months, it was like a runt or something, it was freaking adorable but it's like it knew it and acted totally like a little princess, would always complain when you petted it, didn't like to be held, didn't like anybody. what a little bitch that cat was.

and she had a ton of shit, like everywhere. i just totally didn't think it was going to be that big of deal. those two proceeded to destroy the apartment, well not literally, but yah literally. fucking would cook every night, and leave plates and dishes all over the place. and were always watching tv, and both were super add, like one would talk, then the other would talk, then a 5 second lull, then repeat, so watching a show or a movie was impossible, you would get 10 seconds in and in the frame the camera was slowly panning to the side in a forest, so there's all these trees, and he would say 'man that's a big tree. a really big tree' and she would say 'that reminds me of a tree when i was younger' and it would be all over from there. well fuck this movie.

well the dude worked at this gas station and he was really good at his job, but he got caught on camera printing out phone cards and then handing it to his girlfriend, right on there, with 5 cameras pointing at you. he says he paid for them, but the figures don't match at all, i mean there's such things as electronic records nowadays, especially for things that are essential for the part of the business they offer - money, like how much people bought and how much are owed to them in payment for the service they provided. wtf, htf, i mean omg. i think i'm rambling now, getting tired.

anyways he got fired. my day shift position reopened because the guy who was supposed to be trained as a manager and do the duties for my boss went back to school. dude's got a freakin masters in english why the fuck did he work here in the first place? i mean did you seriously think that he would of wanted to run the store when he's got a fucking masters in english? yah. so i got that back. working days 6am -3 pm not bad, usually monday-friday, nice long and dirty week proceeded quickly by a hot lathery weekend of mayhem.

anyways dude said he could walk into any super america and they would have him on record and hire him on the spot, but first he decided to take a couple weeks off. granted, while he was working full time the girl was totally living off him (leeching more like), he was barely paying rent cause he was buying stuff for 2 people all the time, imagine all your bad habits x2 - yah that would suck. so since she just got a job making more than what he made she could support him for a few months, which she seemed to be cool with. ok so no road bumps there. she's moved in, her cats get along with my cats, at least one of them has a job, nobody's stealing my shit, everything's cool with me on that.

i want to get this over with so i can go to sleep, i'm totally going off on tangents. ok, so she was incredibly insecure as well, rofl, and like totally out of her mind. so they would get in fights if he even glanced at a girl on the tv. she would get in a fight with him if a girl would look at him and he didn't even notice or look at her. i mean she would go nuts and she broke his laptop and she called the cops and threatened to kill herself and they would be screaming and stomping up and down the hall all night. and then when i would come home and she wasn't there he would tell me how crazy she was and what crazy thing she was doing now, like he didn't know what to do, and he'd have this look on his face like sheer terror, like he was afraid for his life. they would break up and get back together. it was fucked. girl you love to hate (and vice versa)

and she would lose everything - ROFL, i had to put that in, but she would call somebody on her cell phone and then lose it 30 seconds later, like she was an unwilling David Blaine. i can't believe she made it this far in life.

so to make a long story short (too late!) there was a knock on the door, i went to answer, i got served papers, they owed 1000 dollars, which could be paid before the court date to avoid the court. they said they would take care of it, then frantically sold all kinds of stuff to pawn shops etc, and he even sold me his 16 track digital audio recorder with cd-rw built in! and a condenser mic because the pawn shop was going to only give him 160 for it so i got it for 200 + the mic, was worth 1200 brand new or at least that's what he (the guy selling it to me) said (rofl i'm so trustworthy.) i even put in an extra 50 bucks to help them. so like then the girl lost her job by crushing 2 wedding cakes - not one wedding cake, oh no.. it was 2 fucking wedding cakes ROFL. and those fuckers didn't pay the 1000 dollars, and they didn't even wake up until 3pm on the court date. i didn't know anything about it, but the land lady came over that night and handed my roommate the phone and then he handed it to me and she was all like 'You guys owe me 2000 dollars now where's my money? i'm getting sick of this and i'm seriously considering throwing you out!' they didn't fucking pay it! wtf!?! where did my 250 go? that's 1/4 of the money you owed, you motherfuckers, you could of totally paid it, ask your fucking dad for a loan jesus fucking christ what's wrong with people these days?! to be fair it included June's rent, so i gave them my check ($272.50 cause they took care of 200 more of it because of his live in psychopath) but they still owed 1700, so i told them to go out and look for jobs, take anything and get something better later. i said that he said he could walk into any super america and they would hire him like a snap of the fingers, and he said they never called him back. i asked her what happened to her job and she said she lost it, didn't tell me til After the fucking court date! i asked how and she said 'i crushed a couple wedding cakes' and i swear to god, i literally said 'o' but was thinking a giant R-O-F-L in my head, like i spelled out the letters, shows how big of a dork i am, but it really perfectly summed up the proper response to 'i crushed not one but more than one wedding cake' how could the fucking thing that fucked us all be so fucking hilarious?

i seriously feel like i'm living in a sitcom or something sometimes, all this weird shit happens all the time, like things no one could even have the foresight to see. i wish i had 50 cameras following me around on record all the time. i can't even believe most of this as i'm typing it out. it hurts but at the same time it's too damn funny.

so get this: i was working on saturday, and a friend of theirs comes through and says, 'So are you moving to Michigan too?'
and i'm like, 'what?'
and she's like, 'are you moving to Michigan?'
and i say, 'no..... who's moving to Michigan?'
and she says, 'nobody, i dunno...' like can this get any more Family Ties-ish?
and i think 'those motherfuckers....'

i go home, and all their shit is packed in black garbage bags. i pound on the door to the dude's room, she's on my phone (FUCKING AGAIN) - o yah, she was always on my phone... - he comes out shirtless and sweaty and looks like he'd been crying and even looked like he was hyperventilating - a complete mess, and i say 'dude are you moving to Michigan?' and he says 'I don't want to, why would i leave my friends and family for this shit' and points at her (just blab blab blabbin away.) then he goes in his room, i go in my room, i don't really know what to say. i go to sleep that night, wake up, go to work, come home and everything is gone. totally up and left me. not even a goodbye.

3 things stand out tho - they cleaned everything, which they never did, they didn't steal any of my shit, which they totally could of if they were about to totally burn all bridges with me, why not steal (take that digital recorder back, my computer speakers, etc) and he left a note saying he was going to go work for her dad, and send money and come back to help clean. should i believe this? do i have the time to believe this? or should i start searching for another place to stay? what about the lease and all the money they owe? would i have to pay it? if i got a new roommate would he have to jump through a ton of hoops to live here for 4 more months? wtf should i do? i know, i'll go on the internet and -

last tuesday i came home from work and they had shut off my power. the bill was 1000 dollars. i had been bugging those guys for months about it, it was either next paycheck or one of us would forget, it's my fault too, but why couldn't it of happened 2 months ago when they had jobs. fuck! i had to pay all of it to get my shit back on too!

i tried calling their dad - the only phone number i knew that had remotely a chance of getting a hold of them - and i had that only cause it was on the caller ID, and he told me he'd have them call me. they never called me. i tried their dad 4 more times - it went to voicemail every time. wtf am i supposed to tell my landlord?! i know, i'll go on the internet and -

this monday i came home and the fucking cable/phone/internet was turned off. i expect it to be normal comcast ridiculousness like 150 or so and i get there and its 215. would you like to know why?!? because those fuckers ordered a bunch of movies and a UFC pay per view. this totally sapped me dry, i just by chance had 220 left to my name, and just by chance had it on me, or i would have to come all the way back to get more and go all the way back again. it was the slimmest stroke of luck to an already shitty fucking week.

this shit happens in 3s right?! so it's over right!? oh my fucking god plz let it be over.

i do have one last story that could of been in a marx brothers movie: aaron vs the toilet. so our toilet wasn't flushing well, and that's because we rigged the stopper in the back tank with string cause the normal line broke. and the fucking thing wouldn't go all the way down sometimes so the bowl would continually run and run and run and then wouldn't flush properly. so there's like a 2 inch gap between the back of the toilet and the wall. i picked up the porcelain top thingy, and set it at an angle in the gap, so like it was leaning up enough supported by the wall and the back of the tank (hard to explain, but that's what it was like.) i tried adjusting the arm of the thing in the back tank, the thing that holds the metal stopper and has a hose running into it to fill the tank. the fucking thing breaks off in my hand. i'm like - "AW FUCK" and like try to readjust it back into position so the break points are flush against each other - like that's gonna fucking magically repair it rofl! now the top of the toilet bowl is up, and me jiggling around back there must of disturbed it enough to fall down. so it fell, and this must of created some kind of vibration in the toilet, enough for the porcelain lid that was at an angle to reposition itself to a 90 degree angle and promptly fucking fall down behind the toilet into the gap. this, in turn, hit the fucking pipe connecting the water to the toilet, rattling it hard enough that this brown piece of plastic that covered the point where 2 pipes formed a juncture, broke out at the bottom and caused water to start spraying out, and i'm talking like gushing in all directions, a fucking monsoon in the bathroom. now why is it that our first inclination is to always put our hand over where the water is coming from!? rofl, that's what i did, creating more pressure that caused it to start spraying out in random directions, whichever way my hands guided it. i was getting soaked, the floor was getting soaked, the bath mat, every fucking thing, and water started seeping out into the hallway. this was all in the span of maybe 5-10 seconds, an incredible display of water fireworks, like gallons poured out in that short of time rofl. i finally figured out it was the brown plastic stopper thingy that was broken and found the shut off valve. the icing on the cake: on it's way down, after it hit the pipe, that redirected the force on the porcelain top. this made one end go down first, and the fucking thing cracked right down the middle. rofl in 5 minutes i completely destroyed that toilet. but in 5 minutes it completely destroyed the bathroom. i think it was a tie....

Half Way Mark

2009-06-24T18:15:00.000-07:00

June!
wow, i need to blog more.
let's go with the most current stuff first:
i'm, like, totally eating right now. a delicious Bellatoria garlic and chicken alfredo ultra thin crust pizza. it's absolutely amazing, so amazing in fact, i believe i will watch something on surfthechannel, eat this pizza and smokeout til i'm good and ready to blog again and then come back and get right down to it. lots to tell. where to begin? at the beginning.

2009-01-03T21:10:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

I find myself at a strange crossroads. At one point all the bad things that happened to me last year loom in the background, and yet at the other point there seems to be a strange new light. A soft warm glow, a feeling satisfaction and content. I feel like the slate has been wiped clean and now the future actually doesn't look as bleak as it did last year at this time.

This time last year I was very depressed over a girl. Everything happens for a reason right? From that point it got only worse and worse. I feel now like I made it out to be more than it was. I feel like I refused to let go, and it was driving me crazy. For the first few months I think I was actually crazy, and looking back now it is a feeling I despise myself for. One of those How could I let myself sink so low kind of things. And while it wasn't 100% all in my head and it wasn't 100% my fault, it seems like my blatant pigheadishness over the matter, not able to let it go, reconnecting all the points that led up to that point, playing it over and over in my head, what I did wrong, what I should of done different, was most to blame. And the girl can't even complain about this really, as I mostly kept it to myself after the initial 'I like you just as a friend' speech, fruitlessly hoping that staying friends she maybe would see the error of her ways and fall head over heels. And this led to me locked inside my room playing the shit over in my head and wondering why I just wasn't good enough. How she would rather be with somebody that beats her than somebody that adores her.

To be fair I don't think he beat her after they broke up and got back together. And perhaps he's a nice guy deep down. But fuck that guy.

Anyways I released a CD in April and all of a sudden everything seemed really good for a long while. Past that point there were some ups and downs, but nothing was worse than those first 4 months. I seem to be manic depressive. I am filled with joy one minute but feel like it's me against the world the next. Maybe everyone feels this way, maybe I exaggerate things in my head. Maybe I'm nuts? Maybe everyone's nuts that's why they don't notice that I'm nuts.

I had a good run of shows but everything seemed to die the last 4 or 5 months. I just can't be inspired by anything. I made this new website, sure, and that actually has helped with the process of getting 'back to it', but it feels like im treading water, went underwater for a couple minutes but at the last second fought to survive to get back to the surface and now am barely keeping my nose above water. And I'm tired, so very tired.

Making this website has helped make me feel like at a fresh new start. Things like adding all this cool stuff and finding a bunch of new things to enjoy along with love prospects (minor) and having a car this winter and having enough money to get by and actually getting to have Christmas this year and getting a ton of lewt from Christmas and realizations/insights into people I know's character, along with a couple CDs that are freaking almost ready is helping me to. I had to work New Years, but with the recession I heard that shit was dead out there, so I didn't miss much. I got to drink champagne after midnight. It was kewl.

I dunno I feel like I lost a fight without even getting in the ring and throwing a punch. Last year didn't give me a chance. It was trying to Darwin me out I think. I never juggled suicide in my thoughts but some days I felt like I was a very very small man being crushed under a very very large boot. I mean seriously it was like everyone was against me. I feel so alone sometimes. All my friends have moved away or I burnt those bridges. These new people in my life, I wouldn't call them friends, I dunno what to call them. Not friends, just acquantinces. I dunno after the run of bad luck I've had - 2 'just be friends' when I first moved here, a girl who couldn't choose between me and a meth addict who pushed her down the stairs, Restraining Hollywood's walls collapsing in on me, last years 'just be friends', and everyone I hate is best friends or more with my roommate. I get so paranoid sometimes, I feel like they all sit around and talk shit about me, and that makes me angry, and all of a sudden I have a bad day and blow up on somebody and then I get sad afterwards because I know I shouldn't of done that, which gives them more gossip and shit to talk about. I feel like I'm not part of the 'in' crowd atm, which is the 'in' crowd at a fucking gas station, but nontheless, they are my peers and I feel left out of a lot of shit.

shit dude maybe it's just me. maybe it's been me all along. I know I've got a few problems, can't take criticism well, whiter that a fucking sheet, not in shape, not fat - but not in shape, I'm just not a people person sometimes, sometimes I just need time to myself, which alienates people, some days I just don't want to talk and some days I just don't know what to say. Socially awkward. Maybe playing a mmorpg for 6 years (off and on) has made me that way. Maybe it's just that generation gap thing, the same thing that made the people of the 80s who liked guns and roses and slayer just couldn't get into grunge rock, and who made people of the 70s who liked disco and I dunno what else they liked back then not get into the electro Devo and Talking Heads n stuff they liked in the 80s. It's like I took a 6 year nap and now the whole world's changed, the people 10 years younger than me are so different. They are, how to put it lightly, idiots and whores. Everything revolves around drama and gossip mags and what's on E tonight. Generation Xbox they call them. Fucking scene kids and emo dorks. I just don't understand them. Well, I understand them totally, they are completely different from my generation, which was completely different from the last, and that was completely different from the last. It's like all kids strive to say 'Fuck You I'm doing it my own way *changes everything*' to the generation before, which leaves that generation befuddled and I think we feel kind of betrayed so we harbor resentment. rofl. It's hilarious when you take a step back and think about it. I would wear my Nirvana shirt under my flannel as if to say a big FU to people with hockey haircuts and slayer shirts and nike air jordans and whatever the fuck else they liked in the 80s.

one last thing, I have to say that the music from about 88-90, when it was in a transitional phase, and Michael Bolton was played 3 times an hour, and Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation and C&C Music Factory and then MC Hammer started in and it was all house music - I hated that shit. What fucking horrible music. How did we ever like that shit? Though Everything I Do I Do It For You by Bryan Adams, I got pretty caught up in that song and in that whole Robin Hood thing. afterwards I felt really guilty like I ate all the cookies and lied about it. haha

Ok so for my first post I think I did a pretty good job, yay me! random yet insightful, haha. thx for reading, hope you enjoyed. Good Night =)

2008-11-17T16:40:00.001-08:00